Care recipients and staff write letters to their younger selves to practice self-love ahead of Valentine’s Day

In a simple gesture to encourage self-appreciation, Venelle, which provides high-end homecare services across London and the home counties, including Buckinghamshire, encouraged a mix of its clients and its care team to write a letter to their younger selves – with the exercise offering a mix of wisdom, encouragement and joy as they reflected on the challenges and unexpected turns that have shaped them.

The self-addressed letter written by Carole Blackshaw, 76, weaves a tortuous path of tragedy – taking her from childhood trauma to young widowhood, before finding contentment and happiness in her thirties:

“You then get together with the man who will become your second and last husband. This is the whole bundle – the moon, the stars and beyond. This is your best life – a love that grows stronger and stronger with the years. You see so much more of the world, have amazing friendships and never stop laughing.”

And in a fitting tribute to Valentine’s Day, Carole reflected on her husband’s love that still burns bright: “I am now an old lady looking back down this awesome life of ours. He doesn't see the dumpy old lady I have become – he sees the girl I was and for whom the stars exploded.”

For 74-year-old Martin, looking back meant recognising the moment he finally stepped out of his older brother’s shadow and began to carve his own path. With his sibling an Oxford graduate and an exceptional mathematician, Martin was set a tough act to follow – and it was something he found challenging before eventually recognising his own worth.

Martin wrote: "You tried to live up to his standards, choosing the same A-levels, even though that was not playing to your strengths. But you had tremendous successes too: you have always had a sunny, positive disposition, you speak numerous languages – something your brother never achieved – and as a school junior swimmer, you held the school record. It makes a big difference to believe in yourself, and it now shows in your strength and resilience."

Martin’s letter also reflects on the healing power of kindness – both for himself and others. After struggling with grief following the death of his father in his early twenties, Martin found solace in supporting a friend through their own struggles:

"One of your closest friends came back to London from the US in complete turmoil and you set about healing his wounds. In doing so, you healed your own. It felt good to be kind and generous, and it will still feel that way when you’re as old as I am now."

His positive thoughts continued, as he reflected on his musical talents, which included releasing an album and his renowned ability to drop a pun at every opportunity, before ending on: “So, young Martin, keep happy, smiling, wise and kind and that is what will come back at you.”

Tiffany Greenfield, 56, by contrast, is a member of the Venelle team, but she also reflected on the past, a process which meant recognising the resilience she developed through childhood challenges, the passions that shaped her and the friendships that would stand the test of time:

"Childhood was not easy for you, but you got through it with a quiet resilience which left you with a self-sufficiency that will carry you throughout your life. Do you remember how music was so important when things got tough? That still remains – one of the things that your mother instilled in you and that you will appreciate throughout the years."

Her letter also highlights the small, joyful moments that make life meaningful – as well as the importance of the friendships that we make:

"You are so lucky to have the most amazing people by your side… Remember that annoyingly popular girl Louise at school? She will remain your closest friend throughout your life, and you will belly laugh together until your face aches. There will be much dancing in kitchens – treasure her!"

And of course, no reflection on youth would be complete without a little light-hearted wisdom, with Tiffany saying: "Go easy with the black bin liners when you go through your punk phase… wearing a dress made out of one won’t last the whole night! Also, that bright orange eye shadow you will become so fond of – maybe reconsider."

She then again ended on a positive saying: “The main thing you need to know is to enjoy every moment. You will have many ups and downs, but you will learn that the bad days pass and the good days are great days. Dance, laugh with your girlfriends, fall in love, heartbreak isn’t easy but that too passes, eat amazing food and have that extra glass of wine.”

Louise Blezzard, Founder and CEO of Venelle, saw this as an invaluable opportunity for care recipients to reconnect with their own stories and appreciate how far they’ve come – with the exercise extending to staff in recognition that self-love is something we should all engage in: "Self-reflection can be a deeply moving and uplifting experience. Reading these letters, you see not just the hardships people have overcome, but the joy, the humour and the astonishing resilience that have carried them through. It’s a beautiful reminder of the strength within each person."

For Venelle, these letters serve as more than just reflections; they are a reminder of the resilience, wisdom, purpose and humour that remain present throughout our lives.

Whether shared with loved ones or kept as a personal reflection, these letters are a way for Venelle’s residents and staff to honour their past selves – while celebrating the wisdom and self-compassion that come with time.

For more information on Venelle and its care services, please visit: https://www.venellelife.co.uk/