Aylesburian: From sublime to ridiculous, my predictions for 2015

The Aylesburian
The Aylesburian

One month into the new year, but it isn’t too late for some predictions.

So what could happen in 2015 – but probably won’t?

> January: A large pub company makes a last minute offer, and saves the Old Police Station in Exchange Street. A company spokesperson says ‘this adds to our two successful pubs already in Aylesbury’. Bucks County Council have no option but to accept the knock out bid.

> February: Sainsbury’s buys Morrison’s, abandons the Gatehouse project, but goes ahead with refurbishment of the Buckingham Street store.

> March: Aylesbury FC gain promotion to the Southern Premier league, and plans are announced for a super new stadium for Aylesbury United.

> April: Late March winds force cancellation of St Georges day events due to ‘elf’n’safety’. A spokesperson says ‘we can’t put lives in danger by erecting marquees’.

> May: After the elections, Aylesbury has two hung councils, and the country a hung parliament. 
UKIP hold the balance of power in all three.

> June: New Coalition government cancels HS2. Street parties are held in Walton Court and Fairford Leys to celebrate.

> July: Morris Dancers cancel gigs in Kingsbury as they are forced to abandon their bells in the name of diversity, and, following a risk assessment, they are told to wear hi-viz jackets.

> August: Paul Weller makes a surprise visit jamming at Hobble on the Cobbles. Twitter ensures 20,000 people crowd into the square damaging the cobbles.

> September: Heatwave melts the tarmac that replaced the cobbles in Market Square. Bucks CC divert money from the pothole repairs fund.

> October: Three more coffee shops and two more gyms open in the town centre ready for Christmas.

> November: Christmas comes early for Aylesbury as Primark open their new store. in time for Black Friday.

> December: AVDC annouce plans (again) to keep traffic out of the town centre, in time for Christmas.