One Night With Joan (review)

Screen and stage legend Joan Collins is nothing short of amazing. She launched her one-woman show at London’s Leicester Square Theatre last night clad a pair of skin-tight skinny, black, sequinned leggings that my 26-year-old daughter wouldn’t dare wear much less a woman of, ahem, 79.

Saturday, 13th April 2013, 2:52 pm
Joan Collins.
Joan Collins.

I had to confirm her age on Google. What is her secret? Whatever it is she should bottle it and sell it online. She’d make another fortune.

This ridiculously beautiful actress has a stunning figure, flawless complexion, smooth skin and cheekbones to die for, a sexy youthful voice plus a devoted and loving (much younger) husband and a lifetime of wonderful memories. Most ordinary women of her age are losing their marbles, grey-haired, wrinkled and old! (Do I sound jealous? I am green with envy).

Her show is pure Hollywood and proves, if nothing else, that she’s come through the casting couch offers, the diet pills, the bitchiness, husbands and lechers, plus some awful movies, pretty much unscathed.

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She’s blessed with a wonderful sense of humour and isn’t afraid to laugh at herself. On Friday night she had the audience giggling with stories about her life, the stars she’s worked with, and those she married.

Bette Davis was, apparently, evil and terrifying; Marilyn a close friend; Mitchum and Burton disappointed at never making it into her bed; while first husband Maxwell Reed attempted to sell her into slavery.

She even regaled us with a story about the time Peter Sellers turned up at her home in a very Jewish suburb of north London wearing a storm-trooper’s outfit and shouting “Sieg Heil” out of the car window to everyone in the neighbourhood!

Joan showed clips from her films and adverts plus photos from the family album and name-dropped outrageously. It’s all tremendous fun although the diva emerged briefly to snap at photographers who were taking shots during the performance and putting her off her stride.

In the second half the star swept onto the set in a figure hugging leopard-skin print evening gown that was pure Dynasty and carried on with the stories.

The show ended with a brief Q & A before the star made her exit. A superb night’s entertainment.

One Night With Joan Collins runs until April 26. For tickets call the box office 08448 733433 or visit