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The Bald Woman's Blog: Part 18
Su meets up again with a woman who has lost both breasts and gets an update from the doc.
August 12 (contd)
I was just fighting the urge to doze off when out of the corner of my eye I saw a lady who was with me on the day of the operation (not Mrs Boss Woman), whose name was Valerie.
She's a very nice, larger than life lady in every sense of the word and has had both her breasts removed. I wonder if she'll recognise me and then think well, why would she, who am I that anyone should remember me?
"Yoo-hooo"! Right across the waiting room, "Hello, it's you," she bellows. I wave quickly, lest she shouts again and we have to evacuate the hospital.
There really is quite a lot of her and she is not bashful about this and just as I am wondering where on earth she will sit, the man next to me, also in a chair like mine, is called in.
What luck, says Valerie, I can sit next to you and before I can stop her she has subjected the chair to her enormous bulk. I wait for the whirlwind and dust – nothing, absolutely nothing and...the truth dawns.
No wonder people remember me; it's the free entertainment I provide. No-one ever knows my name but boy, do they remember my face! Valerie expounds on her operation and announces to all and sundry that she "has had the buggers off" while regaling us with tales of her family history of breast cancer.
"My sister died, you know, spread to the bones." I sneaked a quick look around, she had the attention of the whole waiting area and we were her captive audience. I dare not move, not even for the toilet, not with that chair and Valerie, too!
Dr Ah See calls me in about an hour later. She is extremely nice, petite, warm, friendly and full of information that I greedily soak up. I am right in thinking that the only reason I need chemo is because the cancer was Stage 3, more active and therefore more likely to need a bit more "killing".
I'm for it all and she goes on to explain and confirms all the things I have already read about or asked. I will have a four/five-month course of FEC chemotherapy at the L&D as an outpatient. The chemo will be given over the course of a few hours in week one and three weeks later the same again.
Websites I have found useful:
Breast Cancer Care
Cancerhelp.org (the patient information website of Cancer Research UK)
Netdoctor.co.uk
Scarf Studio (scarfs and bandanas)
Yes, there will be side effects, although exactly which ones will be mine we do not know. Come the hour, come the answer, so to speak. Yes, my hair will fall out, although you can try a cold cap, which sometimes, but not always, can stop hair loss, or slow it down.
I'm not sure I will like wearing that and I'm not vain enough to worry about my hair, but it's an option. My hair might grow back differently, some people regrow curly hair!
I am given several sheets of information and Dr Ah See looks at the operation along with Frances, my breast care nurse. As I pull off my bra both Frances and the doctor say in unison: "Oh, that's nice." I feel slightly silly but immensely pleased inside as they both stare at Mr Pittam's creation.
They both agree that it is a very good job indeed and healing extremely well, looking very natural in shape and size. Dr Ah See has a feel of the breast, I had wondered if it should be so hard at this point, but she confirms that it is exactly right and will be perfectly normal within a week or so. Take it easy, she says.
I don't know why I feel so happy but I skip out of there clutching my sheets of info. I am fully armed, we are all happy about my progress, chemo is scheduled for a couple of weeks' time and just now I feel pretty good.
I'm sure this will not be so once my treatment starts but this is a "moment of grace". One of those spaces where, just for now, I can see for miles. I have two weeks or so to be with Laura in what passes for a normal mode. I am very lucky indeed.
Wednesday, August 13:
Blood test at the Red House in Harpenden are instigated by my GP so we can find out the cause of my high blood pressure. It will be two weeks before I get the result, which will probably coincide with the start of chemo.
Hmmmm, something tells me the BP might not be the only thing I'm trying to sort out by then. Still, we'll have a go. I must stop eating all these chocolates, but if I don't who will!
We have borrowed a blood pressure machine so that I can monitor mine. It's weird, mine is very high and Alan's is very low. I am overweight (slightly) and Alan isn't. I'm beginning to feel that the life I'm living at the moment has run way out of my control.
Nothing is doing what it should and things are not turning out the way I expect them to. I alternate between feeling like there is nothing wrong with me at all and having an "I'm feeling fine" day then literally being unable to move with tiredness just a few hours later.
It's very annoying, confusing, upsetting and so unlike me that I get cross and force myself to go on with devastating results – usually on the culinary front, by burning, dropping or totally forgetting the meal and/or its accompanying bits and pieces – like the pudding!
Part 19 next week
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Weather for Aylesbury
Saturday 04 February 2012
Today
Sunny spells
Temperature: -1 C to 2 C
Wind Speed: 16 mph
Wind direction: South
Tomorrow
Cloudy
Temperature: -0 C to 3 C
Wind Speed: 9 mph
Wind direction: West
